Thursday, September 30, 2010

Another Skype Convo Where I Cross The Line, But Honestly Couldn't Help Myself

As I am sure you all know, Skype is a fantastic chatting tool. We utilize it exclusively where I work, since many of our employees are international. But since Skype is also a free tool that many, many people use, you other will have not only your coworkers, but friends and family linked. Yesterday, my coworker, A*, started this chat:

A*: my mom wanted me to ask you (even though i know the answer) if you are looking for a cruise roomie...apparently a single lady friend of theirs is interested in going

Jaimi: No

A*: yeah that's what i said

Jaimi: Or tell her this - I will expect sexual favors from whomever I have bunk with me

A*: ummmm nah you can tell her that

Jaimi: haha

A*: oh look, my mom's on can tell her yourself
A*: ha

Jaimi: Ok, I sent it to her

A*: oh lord

I did make it a bit more classy than I implied to A*.

Jaimi: Good morning! I'm sorry A*s MOM, but I will be unable to host your friend in my cabin. If i have anyone in my cabin, it will be someone with the proper tools to aid me in further enjoying my trip. And I'm pretty sure your friend lacks those tools.

Jaimi: And by tools, I mean a penis.

A*s MOM: OMG, understood!!

Jaimi: Just so you know. ;)

A*s MOM: I hear you loud and clear!! will be fun, maybe you'll meet the man on the cruise...

Jaimi: I won't discount the possibility

A*s MOM: true, things do happen on crusies..unexpected things...

So yet another example of me treating everyone equally. Pretty much as if you really care, which I assume everyone does if it is about my happiness.

Monday, September 27, 2010


This curse word is flashburning it's way thru my life. I heard it first on Weeds. And it made me do one of the light nose snuffs kinda lame laugh. Then Ian used it in a post, and I mihgt have even chuckled. But it wasn't until I shared it with my coworkers last week, that it made be seriously laugh out loud. Nothing like have 2 of your girlfriends yell out, "THUNDERCUNT!" like is was one of their favorite WWE wrestler's name.

And I know the *C* word drives people insane, but not me.

I love all curse words.

Every Father's Day, when I call my dad, I wish him a "Happy Motherfucker's Day".
When I screw up at something, I'll say, "Fuck me sideways!"
If someone compliments me, I have to chant to myself, "Don't be a douche and say 'Thank you'".

I swear you would think I grew up with a dad who was a construction worker... Oh, wait...


So what's your fav expletive?