I love to soak in a hot bath. The hotter the water, and the more of my body I can submerge, the better. I do not use bubble bath, but if there is epson salt available, I love adding it in. Eucalyptus-scented is my favorite. I could spend hours in a tub of hot water.
And I have. When you grow up in a small place and have pretty much shared your room since you were 2, privacy (and silence) is hard to come by. So that bathroom was my bastion of peace. This did not garner any love from my dad, who would be pissed that I would be in there for hours. "Goddamn it, JAIMI!" I heard this alot actually.
Anywho.
Hot baths. In the winter, they are my savior. I think my internal thermometer is broken. But when it gets cold, and I'm anywhere near my menstral cycle, I get cold and it is almost impossible to warm up. Electric blankets help. I used to use snuggling as a way to absorb heat too. But these methods are slow. If you've been cold all day, and you're tired, when you get home a bath can saturate you with warmth in 10 minutes. It. Is. Heavenly.
So the temp has been dropping dramatically at night and, after having spent 10 days in 90 degree weather (Mexico Cruise, baby!), that cold is pretty much unbearable. So I think I am more clean this last week than I've been in ages because nearly every night has seen me monopolize the guest bath. It is kind of sad that my daughters have another bathroom to use, because hearing them yell, "Gosh Darn it, MAMA!" would make the bath that much more complete.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I Love My Body
I know that every single Empower Yourself Self-help Guru says you need to love yourself, and agreeing with them makes me uncomfortable, but I can't help it. Damn quacks are right.
Up until I was about 29, I hated my body. I think it was because as good as it was at producing babies easily, everything single thing was a struggle. Weight loss, orgasms, waking up in the morning - all required WAY too much effort. And looking back, I'm thinking depression had alot to do with it. It is such an insidious disease. But when I had had enough of my life not being what I had always dreamed, I decided to change it.
I started this dramatic change with my divorce. This decision set me back alot, financially and career-wise. Hell, I reverted back enough that I was reliving my late teens. Getting laid off, starting to date men, another first kiss, retaking my driver's test all harkened back to when I was 16.
But one thing I discovered with this dramatic reorganizing of my life, was that I was like clay again. No longer hardening into stone, I was back to being a fluid creature, enjoying the freedom I had denied myself for over a decade.
And every new experience involving my post baby body was daunting. If you think you were nervous about getting naked for the first time when you were 15, imagine how nervous you'd be after 2 babies and an additional 30 lbs. But I also discovered that while I might have hated my body, the men loved it. Gone were the adolescent boys who thought my 125lb frame was ungainly and unattractive and I said a hearty HELLO to the men who, for once, loved my curves. Nothing is more powerful than bending over wearing slightly lacy panties, and hearing nothing but a groaning, "Oh yeah" and then feel hands on you. Gripping his hands hard on your hips, sinking his fingers into your soft flesh and increasing size inside you. Or even after the fun activities, you just lay there and continue getting stroked because your skin is so soft and he can't keep his hands off of you. No room for shyness or hesitancy, only appreciation.
And with each of these successes in bed I had, my self confidence grew. The tiny little platform I was standing on above all the negative emotions in my life, started expanding. Making room at first for both feet, then I could walk around, to where now I only have a few weak spots in the floor that covers all those insecure debilitating emotions. I can walk strong and upright, barely glancing at my feet and live with the assurance that it would take something truly horrible to crack this foundation I've built.
Up until I was about 29, I hated my body. I think it was because as good as it was at producing babies easily, everything single thing was a struggle. Weight loss, orgasms, waking up in the morning - all required WAY too much effort. And looking back, I'm thinking depression had alot to do with it. It is such an insidious disease. But when I had had enough of my life not being what I had always dreamed, I decided to change it.
I started this dramatic change with my divorce. This decision set me back alot, financially and career-wise. Hell, I reverted back enough that I was reliving my late teens. Getting laid off, starting to date men, another first kiss, retaking my driver's test all harkened back to when I was 16.
But one thing I discovered with this dramatic reorganizing of my life, was that I was like clay again. No longer hardening into stone, I was back to being a fluid creature, enjoying the freedom I had denied myself for over a decade.
And every new experience involving my post baby body was daunting. If you think you were nervous about getting naked for the first time when you were 15, imagine how nervous you'd be after 2 babies and an additional 30 lbs. But I also discovered that while I might have hated my body, the men loved it. Gone were the adolescent boys who thought my 125lb frame was ungainly and unattractive and I said a hearty HELLO to the men who, for once, loved my curves. Nothing is more powerful than bending over wearing slightly lacy panties, and hearing nothing but a groaning, "Oh yeah" and then feel hands on you. Gripping his hands hard on your hips, sinking his fingers into your soft flesh and increasing size inside you. Or even after the fun activities, you just lay there and continue getting stroked because your skin is so soft and he can't keep his hands off of you. No room for shyness or hesitancy, only appreciation.
And with each of these successes in bed I had, my self confidence grew. The tiny little platform I was standing on above all the negative emotions in my life, started expanding. Making room at first for both feet, then I could walk around, to where now I only have a few weak spots in the floor that covers all those insecure debilitating emotions. I can walk strong and upright, barely glancing at my feet and live with the assurance that it would take something truly horrible to crack this foundation I've built.
101 in 1001 - Status Update 12/14/10
3 and a half months. Wow. If I detailed it all out, this blog would be enormous. So bullet points it is:
5. Try a different Hair color - Done! I dyed part of my hair blue. It's a sickly greenish hue now, but still awesome
10.Volunteer 100 Hours - I am now a Girl Scout Troop leader. So far I've racked up 8 hours.
13.Donate Blood - About 2 months ago - about time to do it again.
22. Teach My daughters how to cook - Taught B how to fry an egg. She's scary around open flames. Going to stick with baking for now.
23 Spend 4 weekends in Fernley - Spent Thanksgiving there.
26. Attending 5 plays - Saw Kaeli in You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.
29. Host 12 Dinner parties - Hosted Some Like it Hot Dogs - Got changed to Bullit Dogs.
30. Go to one local event a month - 9/10 Best in the West cook-off, 9/10 Nevada Museum of Art exhibit, 10/10 Italian Festival, 12/10 Santa Crawl
32. See Tiffany perform live - Done! Caught her back-up singing for Michael Bolton
33. Go to 25 Live sporting events - Saw the UNR Homecoming and UNR Boise game
38. Read up on current Tween stressors - Read Queen Bees and Wannabees - Eh.
40. Finish watching BSG - Done! Came on netflix - and powerhoused thru it - was as awesome as I had hoped.
41. Watch Classic Movies - Saw Bullit
45. Acquire my dream Le Crueset dutch oven - Done! Scored with 2, plus about 10 other items. Best x-mas gift ever.
59. Ride a Zipline - Done!
60. Snorkle tropical waters - Done!
73. Finish Unpacking - Done! But now? I find I have too much stuff - gonna start donating more.
87. Go on a cruise - Done!
94. Complete a No-Spend Month - Done! although it was actually like 60 days.
100. Change Banks - Done!
5. Try a different Hair color - Done! I dyed part of my hair blue. It's a sickly greenish hue now, but still awesome
10.Volunteer 100 Hours - I am now a Girl Scout Troop leader. So far I've racked up 8 hours.
13.Donate Blood - About 2 months ago - about time to do it again.
22. Teach My daughters how to cook - Taught B how to fry an egg. She's scary around open flames. Going to stick with baking for now.
23 Spend 4 weekends in Fernley - Spent Thanksgiving there.
26. Attending 5 plays - Saw Kaeli in You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.
29. Host 12 Dinner parties - Hosted Some Like it Hot Dogs - Got changed to Bullit Dogs.
30. Go to one local event a month - 9/10 Best in the West cook-off, 9/10 Nevada Museum of Art exhibit, 10/10 Italian Festival, 12/10 Santa Crawl
32. See Tiffany perform live - Done! Caught her back-up singing for Michael Bolton
33. Go to 25 Live sporting events - Saw the UNR Homecoming and UNR Boise game
38. Read up on current Tween stressors - Read Queen Bees and Wannabees - Eh.
40. Finish watching BSG - Done! Came on netflix - and powerhoused thru it - was as awesome as I had hoped.
41. Watch Classic Movies - Saw Bullit
45. Acquire my dream Le Crueset dutch oven - Done! Scored with 2, plus about 10 other items. Best x-mas gift ever.
59. Ride a Zipline - Done!
60. Snorkle tropical waters - Done!
73. Finish Unpacking - Done! But now? I find I have too much stuff - gonna start donating more.
87. Go on a cruise - Done!
94. Complete a No-Spend Month - Done! although it was actually like 60 days.
100. Change Banks - Done!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Dammit, What is This? Morals? Where Did These Come From?
I had a very interesting weekend in the romance department. The current beau and I went to the UNR Homecoming game and had a blast. We finished up and went back to his place, with me fully ready to commit to some naked activities. As we were snuggling on the couch, he started to talk about how he currently has Friends With Benefits.
*screeching record noise*
My first question was, "More than one!?" Followed by, "Do you plan to stop seeing them now that we are getting serious?"
His answer? "No."
I politely bid him goodnight, and left, never to date him again.
It came to pass that there were other factors that would have been dealbreakers, but this is the one I would like to address.
How do people have open relationships?
When I got divorced, and the papers were final, I dated. Many men. At once. And these weren't just first dates, but full on relationships with all the physical aspects involved. I completely whored out for about 4 months.
But I never felt right about it. So I didn't do it again. But there were instances of a man here and there cheating on me. And with the experience I had just been through where I was the cheater, I still couldn't condone it. It struck at a very core issue that I will have, I believe, for as long as I live.
That I'm not good enough.
In a nutshell, in my dream relationship, all my man will ever need is just me. Sexually and emotionally, what I have to offer will satisfy his desires. Simple as that. Perfection is not the goal. I will never live up to perfection or live with the constant striving for perfection.
And what confuses me about open relationships, even when both parties are into it, and the couple makes rules and follows them, is that you are, at some point, still sharing each other. You are watching some other woman pleasure your man, and they are putting that look on his face that you thought was reserved for you. The intimacy that you share is no longer special, between the two of you, but now just associated with the act.
Maybe it is how I perceive intimacy between two people. When I'm with a man, I focus on making him happy. It is a very big part of what makes me get more and more excited. He is like a sounding board for me. I resonate off of him. And I believe if the sex is going to blow your mind, he is as in tune with you.
And I guess this is where you say, if one person is happy, wouldn't two people's happiness make it better? Having never had more than one subject, I can't say. But I do know that being very selfish and not a fan of sharing, the kneejerk reaction to another woman touching my guy?
"Why is he letting her touch him? Aren't I enough?"
As self confident as I have grown to be, this very basic issue I have, slices a little hole into that confidence. It is this little hole in my armor that would never allow me to participate in an open relationship. Another imperfection that defines me. And a trait I will want to look for in candidates of future relationships.
*screeching record noise*
My first question was, "More than one!?" Followed by, "Do you plan to stop seeing them now that we are getting serious?"
His answer? "No."
I politely bid him goodnight, and left, never to date him again.
It came to pass that there were other factors that would have been dealbreakers, but this is the one I would like to address.
How do people have open relationships?
When I got divorced, and the papers were final, I dated. Many men. At once. And these weren't just first dates, but full on relationships with all the physical aspects involved. I completely whored out for about 4 months.
But I never felt right about it. So I didn't do it again. But there were instances of a man here and there cheating on me. And with the experience I had just been through where I was the cheater, I still couldn't condone it. It struck at a very core issue that I will have, I believe, for as long as I live.
That I'm not good enough.
In a nutshell, in my dream relationship, all my man will ever need is just me. Sexually and emotionally, what I have to offer will satisfy his desires. Simple as that. Perfection is not the goal. I will never live up to perfection or live with the constant striving for perfection.
And what confuses me about open relationships, even when both parties are into it, and the couple makes rules and follows them, is that you are, at some point, still sharing each other. You are watching some other woman pleasure your man, and they are putting that look on his face that you thought was reserved for you. The intimacy that you share is no longer special, between the two of you, but now just associated with the act.
Maybe it is how I perceive intimacy between two people. When I'm with a man, I focus on making him happy. It is a very big part of what makes me get more and more excited. He is like a sounding board for me. I resonate off of him. And I believe if the sex is going to blow your mind, he is as in tune with you.
And I guess this is where you say, if one person is happy, wouldn't two people's happiness make it better? Having never had more than one subject, I can't say. But I do know that being very selfish and not a fan of sharing, the kneejerk reaction to another woman touching my guy?
"Why is he letting her touch him? Aren't I enough?"
As self confident as I have grown to be, this very basic issue I have, slices a little hole into that confidence. It is this little hole in my armor that would never allow me to participate in an open relationship. Another imperfection that defines me. And a trait I will want to look for in candidates of future relationships.
Friday, October 8, 2010
There Was This One Time When The Whole School Knew I Went Without Underpants.
Most of you know that I have 2 daughters. And it was imperative to teach my lovely little ladies to avoid throwing out crotchshots. I'm not raising Lindsey Lohans or Brittany Spears...es.
But I didn't want to embarass them by blatantly telling them, "I can see your goodies."
So, as an ever-impressive vocal candidate, I used song to let them know they were exposed, all while preserving their delicate little snowflake egos.
"I see London! I see France!"
This is far as I had to go. They'd pick up on the clue, do a quick readjust, and "Voila!", back to lady status.
(For those of you that are saying at this very moment, "So unlike their mother", I would like to let you know that your intuition is not flawed. Just sayin'.)
So, the other day, I'm getting something out of the van at the bus stop, and I hear giggles behind me. And my youngest's sweet little voice starts singing, "I see London! I see France!". And I continue the song with, "No, you don't, cause I'm NOT WEARING ANY UNDERPANTS!" And then I mooned her. I also happened to moon my oldest. And my oldest's friend Megan. And Megan's sister, Morgan. And their neighbors, Josh and Tim.
As you can imagine the kids thought I was puuurty funny. So funny in fact that at the assembly a few day later, I kept getting the surreptitious finger point and hushed giggles. After the assembly, I was dragged over to meet my girls' new friends and their parents. I actually knew one from a prior jobs. He was kind enough to state, rather loudly, "You are the Commando Mom!"
That'll teach me to forgo the granny panties, even for just one day.
But I didn't want to embarass them by blatantly telling them, "I can see your goodies."
So, as an ever-impressive vocal candidate, I used song to let them know they were exposed, all while preserving their delicate little snowflake egos.
"I see London! I see France!"
This is far as I had to go. They'd pick up on the clue, do a quick readjust, and "Voila!", back to lady status.
(For those of you that are saying at this very moment, "So unlike their mother", I would like to let you know that your intuition is not flawed. Just sayin'.)
So, the other day, I'm getting something out of the van at the bus stop, and I hear giggles behind me. And my youngest's sweet little voice starts singing, "I see London! I see France!". And I continue the song with, "No, you don't, cause I'm NOT WEARING ANY UNDERPANTS!" And then I mooned her. I also happened to moon my oldest. And my oldest's friend Megan. And Megan's sister, Morgan. And their neighbors, Josh and Tim.
As you can imagine the kids thought I was puuurty funny. So funny in fact that at the assembly a few day later, I kept getting the surreptitious finger point and hushed giggles. After the assembly, I was dragged over to meet my girls' new friends and their parents. I actually knew one from a prior jobs. He was kind enough to state, rather loudly, "You are the Commando Mom!"
That'll teach me to forgo the granny panties, even for just one day.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Another Skype Convo Where I Cross The Line, But Honestly Couldn't Help Myself
As I am sure you all know, Skype is a fantastic chatting tool. We utilize it exclusively where I work, since many of our employees are international. But since Skype is also a free tool that many, many people use, you other will have not only your coworkers, but friends and family linked. Yesterday, my coworker, A*, started this chat:
A*: my mom wanted me to ask you (even though i know the answer) if you are looking for a cruise roomie...apparently a single lady friend of theirs is interested in going
Jaimi: No
A*: yeah that's what i said
Jaimi: Or tell her this - I will expect sexual favors from whomever I have bunk with me
A*: ummmm nah you can tell her that
Jaimi: haha
A*: oh look, my mom's on skype...you can tell her yourself
A*: ha
Jaimi: Ok, I sent it to her
A*: oh lord
I did make it a bit more classy than I implied to A*.
Jaimi: Good morning! I'm sorry A*s MOM, but I will be unable to host your friend in my cabin. If i have anyone in my cabin, it will be someone with the proper tools to aid me in further enjoying my trip. And I'm pretty sure your friend lacks those tools.
Jaimi: And by tools, I mean a penis.
A*s MOM: OMG, understood!!
Jaimi: Just so you know. ;)
A*s MOM: I hear you loud and clear!!...it will be fun, maybe you'll meet the man on the cruise...
Jaimi: I won't discount the possibility
A*s MOM: true, things do happen on crusies..unexpected things...
So yet another example of me treating everyone equally. Pretty much as if you really care, which I assume everyone does if it is about my happiness.
A*: my mom wanted me to ask you (even though i know the answer) if you are looking for a cruise roomie...apparently a single lady friend of theirs is interested in going
Jaimi: No
A*: yeah that's what i said
Jaimi: Or tell her this - I will expect sexual favors from whomever I have bunk with me
A*: ummmm nah you can tell her that
Jaimi: haha
A*: oh look, my mom's on skype...you can tell her yourself
A*: ha
Jaimi: Ok, I sent it to her
A*: oh lord
I did make it a bit more classy than I implied to A*.
Jaimi: Good morning! I'm sorry A*s MOM, but I will be unable to host your friend in my cabin. If i have anyone in my cabin, it will be someone with the proper tools to aid me in further enjoying my trip. And I'm pretty sure your friend lacks those tools.
Jaimi: And by tools, I mean a penis.
A*s MOM: OMG, understood!!
Jaimi: Just so you know. ;)
A*s MOM: I hear you loud and clear!!...it will be fun, maybe you'll meet the man on the cruise...
Jaimi: I won't discount the possibility
A*s MOM: true, things do happen on crusies..unexpected things...
So yet another example of me treating everyone equally. Pretty much as if you really care, which I assume everyone does if it is about my happiness.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Thundercunt!
This curse word is flashburning it's way thru my life. I heard it first on Weeds. And it made me do one of the light nose snuffs kinda lame laugh. Then Ian used it in a post, and I mihgt have even chuckled. But it wasn't until I shared it with my coworkers last week, that it made be seriously laugh out loud. Nothing like have 2 of your girlfriends yell out, "THUNDERCUNT!" like is was one of their favorite WWE wrestler's name.
And I know the *C* word drives people insane, but not me.
I love all curse words.
Every Father's Day, when I call my dad, I wish him a "Happy Motherfucker's Day".
When I screw up at something, I'll say, "Fuck me sideways!"
If someone compliments me, I have to chant to myself, "Don't be a douche and say 'Thank you'".
I swear you would think I grew up with a dad who was a construction worker... Oh, wait...
;-)
So what's your fav expletive?
And I know the *C* word drives people insane, but not me.
I love all curse words.
Every Father's Day, when I call my dad, I wish him a "Happy Motherfucker's Day".
When I screw up at something, I'll say, "Fuck me sideways!"
If someone compliments me, I have to chant to myself, "Don't be a douche and say 'Thank you'".
I swear you would think I grew up with a dad who was a construction worker... Oh, wait...
;-)
So what's your fav expletive?
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