Thursday, March 25, 2010

I have regressive spatial issues

I noticed something odd about my self last night.

I can't sleep in the middle of the bed. It is like I am physically incapable of rolling over into the middle. Even when I was first divorced, and slept in a full bed, I couldn't roll to the middle. And I so TRIED to move over. I made a conscious effort to be in the middle, and I would wake up hugging the side.


Now I have a queen-sized bed. Seriously, the idea of sleeping in a King? I would be so lost. Maybe that's why I like the side? I can escape faster!

Sadly, I doubt it. Now I hide the fact that I only use one side of my bed. I bought a tray that you would see in bedspread ads. In the ads, the tray holds a vase with flowers, and some cute little nic-nac-y thingie. Mine holds the remote, 2 of the books I'm reading, my PS3 controller, chapstick, glasses and sometimes my vibrator. Bet you'll never see MY tray in an ad! Although, it might sell better to single women if it did...


I got a dog specifically too short to get into bed with me. I forgot about the cat's climbing ability. He likes to sleep on my head. And knead my hair. Occasionally though, he lays beside me. On the unoccupied side of my giant unused bed? Nope. Crammed between me and the edge. Even the cat is trying to get me to move over. Like he knows I am giving up some sort battle that as a divorced woman, I should win, Win, WIN! But alas, every night I fail.

So let's look at the bright side! My mattresses, sheets, bedspreads will last twice as long!



  1. I have the opposite problem. When I'm by myself, I am just slightly to the left of center. When T is there? All the way to the right. Yes, he sleeps on the right. So basically we are both on the very right side of the bed. Oh, and Zoe sleeps right next to him and Zack next to me. A bed any smaller than a Cal King would be impossible.

  2. I'm a bad bed-sharer. When I am alone, I'm all over the place, usually diagonal. When I'm sharing? I squish all the way over to one side, almost to the point of falling off. It's not that I don't like to have someone in there with me, but I tend to get really hot when I sleep, and having someone try to drape themselves over my sweaty self??? Just gross. I fear that I am doomed.