Tuesday, October 18, 2011

So The Wedding Ceremony I Performed Yesterday Went Well

This was my script:

"Taara and Ray, after loving and caring for this woman for 18 years, do you give her hands to Andrew as a sign of trust that he will do the same?"

Today we celebrate the best of what it means to be human. Today we celebrate love.

Marriage is a bold step into an unknown future. It is risking who we are for the sake of who we can be.

Andrew and Sabrina are not new to this love. They have been together for years, and have already created a beautiful family with Aron and Evan.

Rather than using marriage as a way of starting a new relationship, they are choosing to celebrate what has already begun and will continue to grow for years to come.

A successful marriage is not something that just happens. It takes work, it takes understanding, and it takes time. It takes a commitment from both of you... a commitment to do whatever it takes to make your relationship thrive and not just simply survive.

You all were invited here to share this rare moment with Andrew and Sabrina because you are the people who mean the most to them. The understanding and the mutual respect which they bring to their continuing life together had their roots in the love and friendship and guidance you have given them. They are honored to have you here.

(directed to Andrew and Sabrina)
On behalf of everyone here today,
we promise to always stand beside you, never between you,
offering our love and support, not our judgment.
And may we return to you the love you have given us,
The love that has brought us together here today;
And may it grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year.

I would like to take this moment to read an excerpt from Madeleine L’Engle’s Irrational Season.

"But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take. It is indeed a fearful gamble. Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that, together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take. If we commit ourselves to one person for life this is not, as many people think, a rejection of freedom; rather it demands the courage to move into all the risks of freedom, and the risk of love which is permanent; into that love which is not possession, but participation. It takes a lifetime to learn another person. When love is not possession, but participation, then it is part of that co-creation which is our human calling, and which implies such risk that it is often rejected."

May I have the rings please?

Let these beautiful rings serve as a physical reminder of the feeling you have in your hearts at this very moment. There are times in life that we tend to focus the things we have not yet accomplished, there will also be times of great loss. Yet as you look at your wedding band, it will softly speak of the great gift that you have been given and all that you have in one another. It shall also be a reminder in the times of great joy, that you have someone to share it with. Never again will you walk alone.


I, Andrew Allen Buist, take you,Sabrina Ann Nichols, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.

The Groom places the Bride’s ring on her finger and says:

I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you with my whole heart


I, Sabrina Ann Nichols, take you, Andrew Allen Buist, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.

The Bride places the Groom’s ring on his finger and says:

I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you with my whole heart

I would like to close with a small excerpt from Dr. Suess’ Oh The Places You Will Go.

Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guys who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest."

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my privilege to present to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Andrew and Sabrina Buist.

You may now kiss the bride.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Let Get Caught Up, Shall We?

Ok, the turmoil that was my personal life has ended for the time being. My last relationship had me pushing myself past boundaries that I have never crossed. Emotionally, ethically, physically, I grew. And expanded and found my limits. I don't think I had ever made myself test everything so thoroughly before. It was cathartic, but I'm so relieved it is over. Now, I can approach life and personal relationships in a more healthy manner.

It is amazing to me that I hadn't done this til now. I have a healthy respect for anarchy, but was always timid about embracing it. But the last year had me breaking SO many rules in the pursuit for information and personal expression. I don't think I ever cried so much or allowed others to be hurt by me. I'm normally so careful and considerate of the stronger emotions that can rule a person's life, but last year, I just threw that filter out. I crossed lines, said things that were brutally honest and allowed for personal error in so many ways. And the tests I gave myself, I mostly failed in. But because of all the darkness, it made it so much easier for me to pick out the bright spots in me and in my life. And appreciate more the smaller circle I chose to spend my time in.

And because this post is a bit deep and life would be incomplete without it, I give you random shit.

I am officiating my niece's wedding.
Watching movies while sitting on the lap of the current beau gives me tingles in my pants.
I have a keg in my garage just waiting to be tapped.
I'm excited that my kids are aging faster than they can make new carseat laws, so I don't have to put them in one.
My friend, Lisa, may be my soulmate of the platonic kind.
Your mom is random.

Friday, March 11, 2011

I Think My Ass Is Numb; aka Paperless Has Made My Office Chair Cry

We have a new process at work. We are now paperless. Woot, Woot!

Why "woot, woot!" you say? It means that everything I need is accessible from my computer. When I make Journal Entries, there is no getting up to get the print-outs. When I need to research an invoice or line item? I don't get up, because it is all stored electronically.

I have been pushing for this since I started and just a couple of months ago, it was approved and just recently implemented.

And now? My ass and feet are perpetually numb. Because I never get up. Unless it is to chitchat. Which looks kinda bad, but I figure at this point, medically necessary. At least, that's what I tell my boss.

So I need some ideas on why to exit my seat. I can drink more water and pee more, but after awhile? All that peeing gets lame.

Do any of you have any ideas?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I'm Bored


Something is missing. That sparks, that interest. Something.

Mostly, I feel it at work. The various tasks I do are non-challenging. Difficult, but uninteresting. I plod along. Dragging ass most days.

It is like there is a missing flavor. Life tastes bland. The missing flavor is no pride in my work.

This is dangerous time for me. I need to get myself back into action, because when I get like this, I end up making mistakes and that compounds my displeasure in these tasks causing a shitty snowball effect.

These times are what make me think I may have a disease, like ADD. Focusing right now is the most difficult task I could undertake.

Or to make it seem romantic - I think I will start telling people, I have ennui. A pretty french word pronounced 'ahn-wee'.

All I know is what I am feeling is not new. And I know I've gotten myself out of it before. And I will again, but at what price?

Friday, March 4, 2011

It been 17 years and a Day

Since I last posted.

I. Am. A. Total. Slacker.

Actually, it is mainly because when I write I tend to expose myself. Not in the "Here's my ass. Again." way. But in the personal aspects about my life way. And lately, I've been wanting to keep some things to myself. I wanted to be selfish and not share.

But the need to write pulls at me again and I am unable to be completely silent.

So let's get back in the sadlle and ride this pony.

Friday, January 28, 2011

I Have Chemically Induced Adult ADD Today. Bad.

I seriously can't sit still.

I think is REALLY has to do with the fact I had to get $10 out for B for an afterschool bowling adventure and instead of paying an ATM fee, I went to QuikStop and got an IrishStyle Java Monster. And drank it all before getting to work.


Since I stopped mainlining caffeine everyday, and just abuse it for recreational purposes (about once a week), caffeine has grown into epic proportions of fun!



I just finished the final deets on my b-day party, which is in 3 weeks. Sent out the Evite and now waiting for responses. I love Evites. I love "Yes, I'm Attending" responses from Evite. They make me super happy.

And I just got a "Yes"! It's been 3 mins. Awesome.


I finally sent out my niece and nephew's Xmas cards with gift. And my nephew's Bday card. I have been sucking ass with the gift promptness. Hell, I still need to get my dad an Xmas gift. At least I'm narrowing down what to get him... Man, I'm lame.


My oldest is turning 12 and wants an electric scooter for her Bday present. I am researching them and the one she wants is really for 13 and over. It goes 15mph for about 45 mins. A bit more than I think she can handle, but the weight limit is 220lbs (as opposed to 150lbs for the smaller one) which means I could ride it... so she's getting the bigger one. ;-)


I have no idea what I want for my birthday. I love gifts (who doesn't!) but I really don't need anything. And the random stuff I want? Very few people get what I like. Hell, I usually don't know till I see it, and then once it is outta sight, it's so outta mind. But it would be nice to be surprised by something this year.


So this troop leader business is kinda kicking my butt. Presales for cookies are deadlined for today and I have yet to even try and sell any. Ha! Ok, let's take a quick break and send out that email...

Done! Ok, now let's hope I get some responses.


As of the last blood donation, I have donated 12 times which is 1.5 gallons of blood. That actually sounds pretty disgusting. Ha. But if you think of it, I may have saved up to 36 lives. Which is pretty awesome. One bad thing? They test your cholesterol. And mine went from not good to really bad in 6 months. And I'm almost positive it is because I haven't been exercising. At. All. So, I am upping my vitamins and taking the Cholestoff that my doc recommended. It is messing with my tummy quite a bit, but part of the deal.

And now I need to get moving. My shoes are shot, so I need to get a new pair first, otherwise I will be flirting with an injury I don't need. But that should stop me from going to the gym once in a while and start hoofing it. I really need to get off my lazy ass.


And I think I'm done. Time to eat lunch.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Is That A Pube Hair Sticking Outta My Sweater?

I have alot of hair. A whole heckuva lot. And I shed it everywhere. It is all over the bathroom, all over my shower wall, bedroom floor, van sideboards, desk chair at work, everywhere.

Always makes me think of Gattaca, the movie where they test DNA all the time. They would have false positives NAMED afte me, I've no doubt. "Oh, sorry, looks like you were trying to get intel on that cute guy at work... but you grabbed Random Subject 47... again."

So inevitably, when I wash my clothes, the hair weaves into my sweaters. And after a few washes the hair loses the fabulous texture it normally is. Today, as I was pulling various strands from my sweater (You know you are so jealous of me right now), I came across one that was very wiry and coarse. All I could think about was, how did this pubic hair get into my sweater!? Then I realized that this hair could only be Crystal Gayle's pube due to the length.

What does this mean? That I do not only have to worry about leaving my trace evidence all over other people's abodes, NOW I have to worry about people finding my hair and thinking it's my giant pube.