Is That A Pube Hair Sticking Outta My Sweater?

I have alot of hair. A whole heckuva lot. And I shed it everywhere. It is all over the bathroom, all over my shower wall, bedroom floor, van sideboards, desk chair at work, everywhere.

Always makes me think of Gattaca, the movie where they test DNA all the time. They would have false positives NAMED afte me, I've no doubt. "Oh, sorry, looks like you were trying to get intel on that cute guy at work... but you grabbed Random Subject 47... again."

So inevitably, when I wash my clothes, the hair weaves into my sweaters. And after a few washes the hair loses the fabulous texture it normally is. Today, as I was pulling various strands from my sweater (You know you are so jealous of me right now), I came across one that was very wiry and coarse. All I could think about was, how did this pubic hair get into my sweater!? Then I realized that this hair could only be Crystal Gayle's pube due to the length.

What does this mean? That I do not only have to worry about leaving my trace evidence all over other people's abodes, NOW I have to worry about people finding my hair and thinking it's my giant pube.

Awesome.