I experianced a new first today. I wouldn't say it was a good first. It was a necessary first helping me guaratee my health now and in the future.
I got my first mammogram.
And, boy, was it a doozy.
So I get there, check in, participate in some waiting room magazine reading, get called back. Undress and lock up my stuff in these little lockers. More waiting room magazine reading. So far this is not unlike waiting for a spa treatment. Hell, I am even wearing flip flops.
Finally get called back. Nice older lady. Please place your goodies into this large clamp. Four times. Not bad. I even make the joke, well, this wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. (JINX!) Go back to waiting room.
Get called back again. They need magnified pics due to some issues. So instead of 4 pics, 2 of each, we now need 4 pics OF EACH. And you can't move. So we will guaratee you won't move by clamping you down so tight you CAN'T move.
At this point you are triggering 3 of my anxiety zones.
1. Crushing pain - I can take piercing, scraping, hell, even burning pain, without responding too badly. Crushing debilitates me.
2. Being trapped. My flight or fight is heavily in the flight. So if I can't flee? Uh uh, not good.
3. Feeling like a victim. This wasn't like a pain I was bringing on myself, so I could rationalize it. It was caused by another human being.
So by the last picture, I was done. If that lady had clamped down on that knob one more time, I think I may have punched her in the head.
But it is good to focus on the fact it is now over, and everything came out clear and healthy. I just hope that my gyn decides I don't have to do this annually. If he does, I am so getting a valium RX beforehand. Cause, DUDE.