Friday, October 8, 2010

There Was This One Time When The Whole School Knew I Went Without Underpants.

Most of you know that I have 2 daughters. And it was imperative to teach my lovely little ladies to avoid throwing out crotchshots. I'm not raising Lindsey Lohans or Brittany

But I didn't want to embarass them by blatantly telling them, "I can see your goodies."

So, as an ever-impressive vocal candidate, I used song to let them know they were exposed, all while preserving their delicate little snowflake egos.

"I see London! I see France!"

This is far as I had to go. They'd pick up on the clue, do a quick readjust, and "Voila!", back to lady status.

(For those of you that are saying at this very moment, "So unlike their mother", I would like to let you know that your intuition is not flawed. Just sayin'.)

So, the other day, I'm getting something out of the van at the bus stop, and I hear giggles behind me. And my youngest's sweet little voice starts singing, "I see London! I see France!". And I continue the song with, "No, you don't, cause I'm NOT WEARING ANY UNDERPANTS!" And then I mooned her. I also happened to moon my oldest. And my oldest's friend Megan. And Megan's sister, Morgan. And their neighbors, Josh and Tim.

As you can imagine the kids thought I was puuurty funny. So funny in fact that at the assembly a few day later, I kept getting the surreptitious finger point and hushed giggles. After the assembly, I was dragged over to meet my girls' new friends and their parents. I actually knew one from a prior jobs. He was kind enough to state, rather loudly, "You are the Commando Mom!"

That'll teach me to forgo the granny panties, even for just one day.


  1. Jaimi - I'm worried. I think you need to seek help. You have quite the fascination of showing the world your ass...whether it is to your children's friends or driving back from a corporate holiday luncheon on 395 South!!!!

  2. Mooning is a family affair here!

  3. My ass is a national treasure. I treat it as such.